Feeling Down? You're Not Alone

I came across this picture today and felt compared to share.

So many times in life I've felt strong. And so many other times, completely helpless and beyond myself in knowing how to carry on to the next moment.

The last 8 months are no exception. I think everyone has felt down at some point this year. For some people, that got worse this past week with the election. For others, it sparked hope they haven't felt for 4 years.

Whether we agree with either of those emotions, the truth is, we all struggle at times and that struggle is often related to our circumstances.

Circumstances..

* at work

* at home

* with friends

* in our country

* with health

The opportunities for hard things in life are endless. That's what it means to be on earth: a fallen, broken, sinful world.

Jesus on Struggles

Jesus acknowledged this truth in John 16:33. "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Yet, perhaps you're an optimist like me and keep hoping things will get better. That peace will reign in this world.

If we know Jesus, we have peace within, but even so will never have peace from without for any length of time while on this side of heaven. So, what do we do with that? What do we do when the struggle gets old?

I've explained it like walking through each day through a swamp. You keep moving forward, but each step takes great effort.

Other words for this are:

Depression. 

Melancholy. 

Dysthymia.

Something I'm going to take a while stab at and say almost everyone has dealt with at one time.

Some Christians still believe these shouldn't exist in a believer. That we're not strong enough or have enough faith or doing enough to beat emotional downturns.

However, I think scripture is full enough of all emotions that it's clear God is not surprised, disappointed, or angry at us for feeling down.

Even when it lasts a long time.

That doesn't mean we don't engage in the battle. No. On the contrary, we want to dig in and fight harder. But to be successful in the fight, we need to wield some different weapons.

Weapon #1: Prayer

The first is prayer.

We are prone to either swallow and try to ignore our emotions or take them to another human. Instead, our first step should be to take them to the Lord. 

This is one thing I love about the Psalms. David takes every single emotion he has to God. He doesn't shy away from grief, sorrow, joy, regret, praise, or even depression. He is a model for praying through the most difficult of times.

As a matter of fact, sometimes when I can't come up with the words, I go to the Psalms and seek out one that fits where I am and speak those words (sometimes out loud, sometimes silently - there are no rules to talking with the Lord). Then I stand confident that God knows my heart.

What I'm not always good at in those moments is pausing and getting quiet to listen to the Lord. This is an essential part of prayer. Oh, I know that He's speaking to me through scripture, but He also wants to whisper into our hearts. It's in these moments that we're equipped to make it to the next moment, next hour, next day.

The Lord desires that we come to Him. He has and is willing to provide us everything we need. Even in our deepest, darkest, most difficult moments. 

The main thing He provides is Himself. He is not just the source of our strength. He is our strength. Likewise, He's not only our source of joy. He is our joy.

Going to God in prayer is like drinking from a well when parched. We fill up on the living water and He carries us through this moment to the next.

Weapon #2 - Other Believers

Just because God wants us to come to Him first doesn't mean that He never wants us to share our burdens and struggles with other people. Good research and science doesn't support this, but most importantly, neither does scripture.

We see this in many places, such as in 2 Corinthians and Romans.

God gives us each other to comfort each other, lament with each other, rejoice with each other, and encourage each other.

To fulfill all these roles, we have to be open and honest about what we're going through and share that with each other.

That doesn't mean you spill your whole heart to the whole world. 

We should be discerning with whom we confide. Who we go to for advice and guidance. Even empathy and compassion.

Some people, even believers, are better equipped to help give what we need at any given moment than others. That doesn't mean they're lacking in their own faith or maturity (although, sometimes this is the case), but that God didn't equip them to serve that particular role.

So, don't become an ostrich when you're down and struggling. Reach out. Ask for prayer. Meet a friend for coffee or schedule a phone call. It may be the hardest thing to do, but an important part of healing and moving forward.

Weapon #3 - Do it Anyway

Have  you heard the phrase that courage is doing something afraid? Well, sometimes we not only have to do things we're afraid of, but things we don't feel like doing. And I'm not talking necessarily about just not feeling like doing something. Often, it's more than that. 

It may feel impossible to muster the energy to do that thing. 

You may feel exhausted at just the thought of doing that thing.

Or you may actually have to take a nap after accomplishing that task that's been staring at you for longer than you care to admit.

I struggle in this area the most. Well, actually I struggle in each of these areas.

I'm not writing this just for you. I'm writing it for me. This is where I am right now, and truth be told, have been for a while. And I want to do better. I want to be better. I want to rejoice in the Lord always.

If Paul could do it in prison, then I can do it in a world of mask mandates, social distancing at church, and restrictions we never could have imagined 12 months ago.

Truth is, this isn't the hardest thing I've gone through in the last 2 years. I'll still take 2020 over 2019. 

For our family, 2019 had some really wonderful highlights, but it also had it's fair share of loss, grief, and even trauma.

What I'm realizing is I never had the chance to process all that before the chaos of Covid, racial tensions, riots, and a ridiculous presidential race whirled in like a tornado inside a hurricane accented by an earthquake, volcano eruption, and raging fire.

Oh, right a few of those were actually thrown into 2020, too.

But I digress.

Life is hard. At times it feels unbearable. God give us many resources to help us get through them. Not the least of which is each other. 

Weapon #4 - Take Care of Yourself

Self-care has had two things happen to it.

* In some ways it's been overused, encouraging people to place an unhealthy focus on themselves.

* Often, especially in Christian circles where we know we're supposed to take care of each other, it gets neglected.

Let's aim for balance. Taking steps to take care of ourselves, yes, even love ourselves, so that we can be in a place to fulfill the plans God has made for us.

What do I mean by self care? I mean:

* Take care of yourself physically

* Take care of yourself mentally

* Take care of yourself emotionally

* Take care of yourself spiritually

Not necessarily in that order.

A couple of these we've already covered. Prayer, reaching out, and pushing through are part of this paradigm of self-care. But there are many things we can do each day to help set ourselves up for success.

To get more specific with some suggestions on how to do this:

- Move your body, even if it's just a 15-minute walk or stretching session

- Journal, draw, color, write, or do something else artistic that helps you process

- Eat healthier

- Take a break from social media

- Give yourself grace

This is by no means an exhaustive list. We don't have space for that here. But hopefully it'll help get you started.

A great site with even more specific suggestions and resources for mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health I've greatly benefitted from is the Biblical Nutritionist. There's a host of information practical tips and tools aimed at helping you.

Weapon #5 - Do Good

I heard a great sermon this past weekend that focused on this concept, but it's one I've believed in and touted for a long time.

When we're struggling, one of the best ways to get better is to look outside of ourselves, recognize someone else's trial, and do something for them.

I don't know about you, but in Covid-world, I've felt very limited in what I can do for other people. I mean, there's a small circle of people that it's easy for me to bless, but there are so many more in my outer circles who I know could use encouragement. That's why I'm trying to find more creative ways to be a blessing.

Especially right now when I don't feel like it. While I'd rather become a hermit and bury myself in a pile of books.

What can we do for others?

- Send an encouraging note

- Take a meal

- Put together a goody basket

- Text or call to check on them

- Order a small, but special gift

I'm sure there are other things I'm not including. (If you have some more ideas, I'd love to hear them!) Hopefully, though, this is a good start for you.

You Are Not Alone

Does that encourage you? I hope so!

Sometimes the worst part of feeling down is feeling alone.

Do you ever want to give up on people in your darkest moments?

I haven't felt that too often in my life, but I'll be completely transparent and admit that's how I was feeling earlier today. For a host of reasons, I was just done making an effort.

But this is the exact opposite as to how God would have me respond to my current situation and circumstances.

If I gave up on others, stopped being considerate, and working on relationships, I'd be the one who'd lose the most.

And Satan would win.

In those moments, I dug deep and did some informal praying (just talking to myself and to God and working through it all), and He made it clear the path for me to take. 

And reminded me of the all-important truth that He loves me.

Some days, I don't know why, but am grateful for it always.

Just this one fact is enough for me to praise Him and rejoice always.

I won't give up. Not in my own strength will I continue, but in His.

When I am disappointed, doubtful, and discouraged, I will turn to Him. I will remind myself of His truths. I will dig in and do what I know works.

I hope you won't give up either.

Take a deep breath. Breath out the world. Breath in God. Then ask Him to help you and trust that He will.

Let's Talk - And Cancel #cancelculture

What's your opinion about #CancelCulture?

Let's talk.

Like, have real conversation. I mean, I know it's more difficult online, but people have been doing it. However...

I have found many people are more interested in having their point heard than having a real conversation (I'll be the first to admit, I've been guilty of this in the past). I've been unfriended and unfollowed by at least 3 people (that I know of) recently because of voicing my opinion and/or attempting to have a civil discourse about current issues.

#cancelculture is real. Let's cancel IT!

Let's talk.

Today, I'll start with a bit of what I said in a conversation that got me unfriended.

So, today, let's talk about RIOTS...

"To harass, destroy, attack and try to silence anyone who disagrees with your opinion or perspective is WRONG. Isn't that what happened to the black population after slavery was made illegal? For decades, black people and those who supported them and saw them as equally valuable human beings were harassed, had property destroyed, were attacked, and silenced. To do the same things to fight racism is misguided, and I'd even say, evil."

We can do better.

Let's LISTEN, LEARN, and LOVE.

I'm listening. What do you have to say?

Flaws, Failures, and Faults

Do you ever have one of those days? Weeks? Months? Years?

We all experience failures. We know that we are flawed. Our faults seem to stand out glaringly in life. Sometimes, we can be entirely too hard on ourselves.

One of my children is that way. She is a natural perfectionist and has always had extremely high expectations of herself. She beats herself up for the slightest mistakes. My goal is to help her learn how to not be so hard on herself. I haven't always responded with the grace and gentleness that this guidance should have.

We had one of these small situations come up today and it got me to thinking about how hard I've been on myself in the past. How many times have I allowed negative thoughts and self-beratement follow a failure or the pointing out of a flaw or fault? Way too many to count! However, I now don't let myself get lost in the negativity.

What's changed? A few things.

(1) First, I've learned to recognize and root out shame. A study I completed in 2017 defined shame in a such a succinct way I understood it more fully than I had every before. To paraphrase, shame is a belief that there is something inherently wrong with you that can't ever be fixed or cured. That if others knew you, really knew you to the core, all the things you've done or thought, they would reject you.

There is no hope in shame. There is no deep down joy in shame. There is no confidence in shame. There is no freedom in shame.

When you're able to break free of shame (which often takes a bit of promise and definitely takes a willingness to be COMPLETELY transparent and vulnerable with at least one God-grounded, trusted person), you no longer beat yourself up over your flaws, failures, and faults. You realize these are all a part of being human and you are no less valuable or worthy of God's love than anyone else.

(2) Second, I have learned to be more intentional about taking my thoughts captive and making them obedient to the Lord and what He desires me to think about. This is sometimes a daily battle and I can't do it on my own strength, but it's a choice that transforms my thinking, which impacts everything we say and do.

(3) Third (not lastly, but I'll leave it here), I spend a lot of time with God. Reading His word and soaking it in. Memorizing it. Meditating on it. Discussing it. And talking with Him. Spending time crying out with my doubts, discouragements, and distress. Laying it all in His very capable hands and trusting Him with it all. Then listening.

I think this is the most difficult part of our relationship with God. Getting quiet and still enough to hear from Him. There is so much in this world distracting us with information and noise (sometimes just in our head) that hinders our ability to hear that soft, gentle voice and guidance in our spirit by the Spirit. God is always communicating with us and shame (and other pain, ideas, and beliefs) blocks or filters His messages to us. In spending both quality and a quantity of time with the Lord, we will learn to hear Him and live in the truths of His love, healing, and redemption of every aspect of our lives.

How has God used your flaws, failures, or faults to grow you and teach you?

What's your story in how God has released you from the shame this world tends to heap on?

Of Socks and Shoes (and toothbrushes and soap)

We live in a time and place where we have unlimited resources to help us prepare for parenthood. When I was expecting and then a new mom, I read and read and read. There were books and magazines, and a handful of blogs. Now there are an amazing number of blogs, Facebook groups, Instagrammers, Pinners, etc. Any question you might wonder about parenting, you'll most likely find in abundance.

Regardless of how much we talk to other moms, read about being a parent, or research all the right decisions, the truth is nothing can prepare someone for motherhood completely. There are just things you could never expect (or, even if someone told you, you might brush off or not realize how that piece of advice might be experienced in real time). 

One of those things for me is how often I have to repeat myself. Now, I'm sure part of this is my own fault. I am somewhat strict as a parent, but certainly not exceptionally strict. I believe in grace and apply it liberally. Not that my children don't have responsibilities or face consequences when they break rules, but I try to be flexible when a situation deems it. (Okay, quite often I'm also just plain distractible.) I also don't tend to dole out punishments for small things.

But really...

How many times do I have to say "put your shoes on" when I've given them a 20 minute countdown 'til time for us to leave?

How many times do I have to ask, "Did you wash with soap while you were in the bathtub for 2 hours?"

How many times do I need to remind my children to brush their teeth after breakfast AND before bed?

Honestly, after a decade (give or take) of hearing these things, you'd think they'd get it.

But that's my job. 

To hold them accountable to good habits and responsibilities.

To remind them to do things they get distracted from (especially since I understand this one in spades!).

To keep teaching them, guiding them, and leading them to become responsible, people-loving, God-honoring adults.

And I know they will get it!

My 15-year-old is a big encouragement. Not that we don't deal with typical teen issues, but she seems to have integrated all the everyday lessons I've been trying to impart her whole life. Her younger siblings have them in part. Of course, the youngest needs the most guidance. So I cling to the success I see and keep on (deep breath) patiently reminding and checking in to make sure things are done that are supposed to be done.

And isn't that the way the Lord is with us? There are so many lessons I've learned and relearned (and relearned) in my life as a believer. How quickly I forget His truths and start to depend on myself and my limited knowledge and strength. Over and over and over again.

Yet, the Lord is ever-patient. He continues to guide and teach and correct and lead me. I'm so thankful He does! Aren't you?

So the next time your telling your child put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher, brush their hair, or actually put their clothes away when they take them off, remember how long-suffering and gentle the Lord is with you. Filling up with His grace will help you (and me) extend grace to our children and gently keep them on track.

So, what are the things do you get to teach your children over and over?

And what is something you've ever grateful the Lord teaches and reminds you over and over?

God and Depression

Having a relationship with God brings joy, right? While this statement is supported throughout the Bible, the truth is we live in a broken, fallen world. You may have experienced loss, abuse, trauma, or other difficulties and challenges. Depression often hits us as a result of tough circumstances. At other times, though, depression can strike when everything seems to be going well. Fortunately, the Bible also addresses these situations.

A quick perusal through the Psalms gives us many examples of when David and others were in angst, to the point of death and despair. Paul also expresses his great struggles and times of desperation for God to deliver him from either his circumstances or thoughts and emotions. God is not silent on depression, but provides tools to help us to go through and get through. When you're feeling depressed, down, or discouraged, there are helpful things to remember and that you can do.

Things to remember:

      (1)   God is not mad at or disappointed in you. God understands the depths of our hearts and sent Jesus to experience the trials of living in flesh. When we are depressed, He meets us with compassion and encouragement.

      (2)   God has not left you. Over and over again, God tells us in scripture that He is with us and won't leave us. While He may often feel far, the truth is He is always with us, no matter what our circumstances, struggles, thoughts, or feelings.

      (3)   This moment and feeling will not last forever. While some battles with depression are deep and long, they do not last forever. Reminding yourself of this fosters hope and is helpful in getting through the most difficult moments.

Things you can do:

      (1)   Talk to someone. God created us to be relational. Romans 12:15 says to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Our burdens are lessened when we share them with others. We can gain a different perspective, insight, and the encouragement needed to walk through even the toughest valleys in life.

      (2)   Be intentional about gratitude. When depression takes over, our thoughts gravitate toward and get stuck on the negative. We have a hard time seeing the blessings in life. Even starting with the basics of thanking God for who He is and what He's done in the past (see Psalm 138 for example) will begin to transform your thinking and make it easier to identify other blessings.

      (3)   Pour in truth. Exhaustion is often a close companion to depression and it may feel impossible to even muster up enough strength to open and read the Bible. Thankfully, we live in a time where the Bible and biblical teaching are abundantly available. Turn a Bible app on read, search online for your favorite Bible teachers or preachers, or find some godly teaching on podcasts. God's word is alive and active (Hebrews 4:12) and will began to transform you.

These few reminders and suggestions are helpful when going through depression and other difficult times. If the list seems overwhelming, simply pick one to start with. And if you would like to share your story or struggles or talk to someone, feel free to comment below or email me through this link.

I pray you’ll experience God’s love and compassion for you in a fresh way as you seek Him in the midst of your struggles.

Revelation Devotion Finale

Closing

I hope you’ve been blessed by this 12-week devotional study based on the first three chapters of Revelation. I certainly have been. God has been faithful to lead, guide, and reveal more about Himself through the examining of His Word. He has also used this most powerful two-edged sword to pierce into my soul and call me to examine myself. The goals of seeking who God is and who He desires me to be have been met, but only in part. The journey of getting to know God greater, developing a deeper intimacy with Him, and transforming to become more like Him is a process that doesn’t end as long as we’re on earth. Any time we open God’s Word with ears to hear, eyes to see, and a moldable heart, He will use it to transform us. My prayer for each of us is that we continue to seek Him, love Him, obey Him, and glorify Him to greater and greater degrees.

To God, who was and is and is to come, who is holy, who is Lord Almighty, be glory and honor forever and ever. Amen.

  

Holy, holy, holy is the
Lord God Almighty,
who was, and is, and is to come.
Revelation 4:8

If you are interested in having a printable copy of this devotion or a book version to share with others, email me at tracy_wainwright@yahoo.com

I hope you'll join me next week for the start of a new devotion from James 1.

Happy Independence Day!

Hope you're day is full of celebrating the great freedoms we have, honoring those who've paid for our freedom, and enjoying friends and family.