Creating a Worry-Free Home

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. Proverbs 31:11

Before you cringe at the fact that I've gone to the awe-inspiring Proverbs 31 woman, know that I have studied, struggled with, submitted to the meaning behind these verses. While this woman looks perfect, she is not. How do I know? Because she is human. I also know that this section of verses is not a snapshot glance at her life, it is a look into her overall life, evidenced by verse 28. Most likely, if her children arise and called her blessed, they are grown.

Okay, so now we can look at todays verse. This woman's husband has full confidence in her. Where do you suppose that confidence comes from? To me, it comes from his experience that she takes care of her duties and household with integrity. She does what she says she's going to do and backs her words up with actions. She looks after the household in such a way that her husband doesn't have to worry that things are falling apart while he's at home.

We, also have this opportunity today. Whether we work outside the home or only in it, we can manage our homes in a way that instills our husbands with confidence. This can be done by:

* greeting him with kind words and enthusiasm
* taking care of chores with a positive attitude
* doing something extra that he'll notice once in a while
* do what you say you'll do
* keep your focus on God and fulfilling the work He's called you to do.

In no way would I ever imply that the above is easy. It's something I work on daily. When I want to get lazy (not relax, relaxation and down time are important to maintain balance), I ask myself, am I living with integrity? Have I given God my best today? If not, I pray for His strength to help me persevere through one more task - and I sometimes remember to turn my praise music on while I'm doing so.

Secret to Prosperity

The LORD commanded us to obey all these decrees and to fear the LORD our God, so that we might always prosper and be kept alive, as is the case today. And if we are careful to obey all this law before the LORD our God, as he has commanded us, that will be our righteousness. Deuteronomy 6:24-25

The secret to prosperity is obedience. No, I'm not talking about financial prosperity, I'm talking about being prosperous in the truly important things in life: mindset, relationships, contentment, joy, Holy Spirit power, God's presence - all the riches according to Christ Jesus. God has promised to supply all of our needs according to the glory of His Son, but we often are looking for our wants. We tend to compare ourselves to others and what they have that we don't. I know that I'm guilty of this.

However, when I turn my eyes away from the flesh and look upwards, I am reminded of the multitude of blessings that God has already poured out on me. This reminds me to be obedient in this: "in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" (Philippians 4:6)

God doesn't tell us to do things, does not give us laws and boundaries for His good, but for our own. To approach everything with thanksgiving is a gift to us. It helps open us to the joy, contentment and positive relationships that God desires to give us. The things we often seek, thinking they will give us these things always disappoint.

This is a lesson - the importance of obedience - is one I am constantly trying to teach my children. I'll admit, even though I know how important it is, I often fall short in reinforcing immediate, respectful, cheerful obedience in my children. I also resist being completely obedient to God, making myself a good role model, despite my prayer to be radically obedient.

Lately, I have recommitted to reinforcing obedience in my children. They, like me, will not simply choose to be obedient because it's the best path. While some are naturally more obedient than others, none of them will choose it all the time. Therefore, it is my job to teach them through modeling, verbalizing, and consequencing. When I don't, I sell them short. I rob them of a life that will lead to the prosperity God has offered them.

We all want the best for our children, but the secret is not to give them everything they want, but to teach them to joyfully obey God's law, the first of which for our children is to "Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise." Ephesians 6:1-2

Getting Your Children To Respect Your Parenting

Above all, my brothers, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned. James 5:12

A friend of mine shared this verse a while back for a totally different reason, but ever since then it's been on my mind as to how important this is to us as moms.

As a family counselor, one of the main things we encouraged parents to do to be effective was to set boundaries and maintain them. To say what you mean and mean what you say. Otherwise, your children will run right over you - begging, pleading, whining, and conjolling until you finally give in and let them have their way. Or, they will simply ignore you and do what they want knowing that there won't be any negative consequences.

Even having full knowledge of the importance of this, I struggle with it. It's especially difficult when you don't have a specific reason and so do give in eventually. However, I've found this gets me into deep parenting poopy. The next time I say "do this" or "no" my answer is not respected. It becomes a battle, of which there never should be. As parents, God has given us authority over our children and we are to teach them to respect that authority. Note: they need to be taught to respect our authority.

I have one particular child who is famous for pushing the envelop. This particular child will ask for the same thing a million times after I've given my answer. Even though I very seldom change my answer, and often state that I've already answered and am not going to change my mind, this particular child will keep on and keep on and keep on and keep on and keep on and keep on and keep on... (I think you get the idea.)

Lately, I've begun to stop this process. I will make it clear that I've answered the question, that is the final say on the matter and there will be negative consequences if the question is asked one more time. It has only taken a few times for the consequence to come with the words for me to get the process to stop mid stream.

"So harsh!" you may be thinking. But, I am reinforcing my God-given authority (which is ultimately important when they take the inevitable risk that puts them in major harms way - like walking out in the street, disappearing from our sight in a crowded area, just trying one joint, having unprotected sex - it is all connected) that puts safe boundaries around them until they are able to make greater and greater decisions on their own. If I don't establish that authority in the small things like respecting my answer on a requested activity, I won't have authority on the larger things as they get older.

So, as hard as it is to draw the line in the sand and maintain it, it is vital to effective, loving parenting. And if God has given us this authority, commanded us to let our words stand as they're said, then He will provide us with everything we need to do so.