Determined

I've been called stubborn before. Once or twice. And in the last few years especially I've come to appreciate my stubbornness. You see, I was given not one, but two strong-willed children. If I hadn't been given such steadfast spirit, my sweet young girls would be completely spoiled rotten at this point - because they got tenaciousness in spades.

I must give an example here. When one of these sweet girls was three, she would come to the kitchen every morning and ask for candy. Somewhere between three and ten times. Every morning. For about six months. Despite getting the same answer every time she asked. And by the grace of God I did give her the same answer each time she asked (We don't have candy for breakfast.)

Now, as a child and young woman my stubbornness often was to my detriment and got me in trouble. I won't put you through the misery (or entertainment, okay - my misery at having to recount the times I fell) of those stories.

It's in my growing closer to God and experiencing the benefit of determination as a mom that I've become to appreciate this dogged spirit He instilled - and has grown - in me. 

When I put my mind to do something, I generally follow through. It's why I published four books last hear and plan to publish eight this year. It's why I'm able to homeschool for seven years through changing circumstances. It's what got me up between five and five-thirty in the morning to exercise (when I was doing so.) It's what keeps me picking up after my family, feeding my family, and loving my family - even on days I don't feel like doing any of it. It's what made me lose 2 pounds during my third trimester of my first pregnancy.

I can be stubborn, tenacious, and determined. When I choose to be.

Which makes me wonder about the times I simply give in. When I fall back into bad habits, when I ignore what needs to be done, when I let go of my goals. Part of it, I believe, is due to the intensity I attack tasks with. Sometimes I simply get tired.

But that can't be the whole answer.

Being a part of a group of women who go through the same struggles, who have a desire to grow in their faith and be the best wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend they can be reminds me I am always battling the flesh and my spiritual enemy.

Be serious! Be alert! Your adversary the Devil is prowling around 

like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour. Resist him 

and be firm in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are 

being experienced by your fellow believers throughout the world.

1 Peter 5:8-9

I must be alert and aware. It's easier to be self-focused and give into what doesn't take much effort and energy. But I know God made me for more than that. I have to do more than know it, though. I have to cling to it and to Him.

It helps to know my sisters struggle with the same things. And I'm so grateful for the opportunity to spur each other on and encourage each other in our faith walk. 

To be reminded that my stubbornness can be used for good - for me and for others. And that's why I'm #determined!

Who's in Charge?

It never fails to surprise me when I hear parents say, "He didn't want to," or "She didn't feel like it." Not that I'm cold and uncaring about my children's feelings, but often I hear these words about children following through on a commitment or a chore or even schoolwork. And I think: Who's in charge here?

Too often, it's the child, not the parent.

I sometimes even catch myself doing it. Letting my child dictate his or her own actions when really, I should push back more. I should stick to my word better. I know this, and still I fall short.

However, I often wonder if other parents are aware of this (not all parents, of course, just some who seem to get run over by their children.

As a family counselor of troubled teens, I saw this constantly. Parents who let children dictate their own lives (and sometimes the parents' too!). Then the parent would generally throw their hands up in the air in wonder when things went haywire or their child rebelled.

Now, it was a whole lot easier for me to dole out parenting advice before I actually became one. I had no idea how my emotions would become so entangled in my parenting. That even though I know the right thing to do most of the time (certainly not all the time!), I don't always do it because I'm tired or frustrated or distracted or just plain weak.

Nevertheless, I try to keep in the forefront of my mind that I am the one ultimately in charge. I have authority over my child and his/her life. This doesn't mean that I dictate every decision my child makes. There has to be balance and children have to be able to make decisions to become responsible, independent adults. They learn to make small decisions when they are small and best handle bigger decisions as they grow bigger. Yet still, they are not in control of their lives. They should be in control of some decisions, but not their entire lives. Not until they're ready to be fully responsible for their entire lives.

Yet many parents don't embrace their rightful place as having authority. We have swung the pendulum of parenting from authoritarian (rules rule the roost) to permissive (rules?), neither which is best for a child or the family as a whole. Instead, authoritative parenting has proven to be the most effective time and time again. That means the parent is in charge (i.e. holds the authority), but engages the child in love, life, and some autonomy in decisions.

So how do we put this into practice? 

First, we as parents must recognize that we are in charge, and we are in charge for a reason. Think how much more you know about life than you did when you were five or ten or fifteen. You have life, experience, and a wealth of information to pull from. Your child has very little of each of these.

Second, we have to realize that discipline is a form of love and children grow up much more healthier with balanced boundaries. Letting them have their way or tell you what they are or are not going to do (not little things, but bigger things like follow through on a commitment, go to a family function, follow family rules, etc.) creates a self-centered, selfish, and often very immature adult.

Third, we should remember that most battles are short lived. Now, I have two strong-willed children, so I know what it means to say no to the same questions a dozen times a day for months on end. But they eventually get it. I also have seen that most times a child gets upset with boundaries being set and held to, they will recover pretty quickly. Even if it's a day or two, it will be much better in the long run to hold on to your word. Even if it's a week or two, or a month or two (the times seem to often get longer as they get older). All we have to do is outlast them - most of the time. (None of us are capable of holding on ALL the time!)

So, the next time your child tells you "no" to something that really matters or something that they committed to or something that you need to stick to just because you already let it fly out of your mouth, remember that you are in charge for a reason - and that reason is because you know best for your child, love them, and want them to grow up to be healthy, balanced, caring individuals. 

The Little Things

I have always liked little things. I played with dolls as a young girl, but it was more the tiny clothes, furniture, and accessories I was most fascinated with. If I'd been able, I'd have had a whole miniature house set up. As an adult, I discovered tiny cups you could get printed with names. My mother-in-law has a set, she received as gifts from me years ago.

Almost fourteen years ago I began getting a whole new set a little things in my life. The first born of our family arrived a couple weeks early and weighed just over 6 pounds. My goodness did I love that little body! Even though I was stressed and exhausted and hormonal beyond comprehension.

Two years later came our only baby boy at exactly 6 pounds. I had a little experience at this point, so even though I struggled with hormones, depression, and fatigue again, I could not have loved him more.

Our cycle seemed to be two years as precious gifts number 3 and 4 came at the same intervals. Motherhood was becoming more familiar to me by this point and each one seemed to get easier (in what I knew to do, if not in personality - but that's a whole other post!)

Now we are at what I like to call the "Golden Stage." No teenagers yet - the oldest is 12 - and everyone's way past diapers and total dependence - the youngest just turned 6.

But there are also moments I miss the tininess of a baby. The little toes. The fingers that are smaller than a caterpillar. The minuscule mouth that seems to be gifted in making unlimited expressions and noises. I take any chance I can get to hold, love, and cuddle with a little bitty.

However, I also know very well that just as my kiddos have grown into these great children who are fairly capable, they will before I know it grow into great, very capable adults. 

That's why I'm making sure I'm focusing on the little things. The song that's sung during play. The moments they are all getting along. Being read to. Reading with. Random snuggles and kisses. The question I have no idea how to answer. The question I answer easily - which prompts me to say, "You have more questions like that? Shoot them my way!" The quiet moments. The noisy moments. The teachable moments. The laughter. The tears. The celebrations. the sharing of - anything.

These are the moments that are the greatest treasure of my life. I read a book recently that reminded me I am not promised these moments tomorrow. I must treasure them today. Hopefully I will get more tomorrow, and next week, and next year, and for the rest of my life, but I can't count on that. 

Therefore, I will take snapshots with my camera and with my mind. I will close a book, shut off the computer, not turn the TV back on. I will hide these things in my heart. I will not let them slip away unnoticed.

And no one will ever be able to take away these most precious, most invaluable, most important little things.

Scheduling Rest

I had a great conversation with an acquaintance one day. She and I have very different daily lives - I have 4 children under 14, she has 1 step-daughter in college; I am home full time, she works part time - but we found that we also have a lot in common. We are both very busy women with a high regard for taking care of our families, serving others, and working hard at whatever we do.

Maybe that's why our conversation moved to the subject of taking care of ourselves and resting once in a while. I think this is a concern/issue for most women in our society. Whether your children are young or older, whether you work outside the home, work from home, or home is your main work, whether your children participate in a dozen activities, a few activities, or just keep their heads above water keeping up with school, life challenges, and special situations - no matter what our daily lives look like - it seems we all struggle with staying balanced in taking care of ourselves and our families.

In a culture that says, "If it feels good, do it" and "You deserve....{just about anything and everything you want}, but also says "You must perform, be perfect, and please everyone (including yourself), it's no wonder we get stuck, have excessively high levels of stress and depression, and don't feel like we can ever rest.

Yet, our bodies were made to rest. Studies have proven that sleep is essential for health and optimal functioning. Our brains need to catch up and recharge. Our bodies need to recharge. But what about our spirits? Don't they need to recharge?

Yes, of course they do!

Sleep is essential and beneficial (and something I'm a big fan of), but it's not the only kind of rest we need. We also need down time. Time to reflect. Time to ponder. Time to ground ourselves. Time to stop the craziness and busyness of life and smell the roses, as the old saying goes.

The conversation yesterday brought the forefront that doing this often brings guilt on women. Because we tend to focus on, stress about, and heap guilt on ourselves about what we're not getting done at that moment. We forget that by taking care of ourselves (in a balanced, healthy way), we are benefiting our families. When we rest, relax, and recharge we can serve our families better. We can do our jobs better. Our moods are better. We are modeling health and balance. It is not just for us, but it is for them, too.

However, we shouldn't expect that it will just happen. Nor should we wait until we're sick to take a day off.

When I worked as a counselor, we were encouraged to take "Mental Health" days. We didn't have to wait to be sick to take sick leave. My wise supervisors knew that it was better to schedule days off to rest, relax, and recharge, than to be slammed with unexpected, often much longer and not beneficial, illness forcing one to take sick leave.

We as moms should recognize our needs for a mental health day on a regular basis. Now, I'm not talking about every week. Maybe every month, but definitely every couple of months. No, we don't ever "get a day off" of being mom, but we can take a break and take it down a few notches.

My kids still get fed on my "days off", but not much else. And guess what: they survive. Sometimes they even crawl in bed with me to snuggle when I'm half-way through a novel and still in my pajamas in the middle of the afternoon. Life goes on. The world keeps turning. Nothing comes crashing down. And we simply continue our routines and busyness the next day.

Rest is not a luxury. It is essential for well-being and health. It's not easy as a mom to get it, but it is so worth it. So, when will you schedule your next mental health day?

Weary Moms

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:28-31

Do you ever grow weary? Do you ever get to the end of the day and crash onto the sofa next to your husband, or slump off to bed to have sleep take over in seconds?

I think all moms go through times like this. I went through about seven years of it, due to having and nursing four babies and medical issues. Recently, I switched from Vitamin D capsules to liquid vitamins, and for the first winter ever am not pregnant or nursing/sleep deprived. I spent a couple weeks with more energy than I've had in years. Then I crashed again. And I asked, "Why?"

Why is it I can't live off of five hours of sleep and keep moving all day? Why is it that if I actually sit and do nothing I'm asleep in two minutes flat? Why when I actually take a day to sleep in, exercise, keep my blood sugar under control, and remember my Vit. D do I still get tired? Well, because I'm human. And there's always things to do!

So, okay, even God's holy Word says we young (yes, I think 34 is still young) will grow weary. And what's the answer to this bone-dragging weariness? To rely on the Lord.

Okay, Lord, could you give me super strength and help me function on less sleep?

Sometimes, yes. But for some reason, he likes to keep me humble and remember that to rely on Him is not always to gain the supernatural ability to do things. Sometimes He wants to teach me something.

It could be to slow down.

It could be to do it even if I'm tired.

It could be to reevaluate my obligations and activities and cut something out.

No matter what it is, though, the answer is always the same: hope in the Lord.

Hope, meaning live in the expectation

~ that He will provide strength when I need it.

~ that He will guide me to make the right decisions

~ that He will bring help to me at the right time

~ that He is always with me no matter what

~ that He knows infinitely more than me and my job is simply to rely on Him

While not always the tangible answer I'm looking for, it reminds me of the times He's been faithful to take care of me. Then, weary or not, I know that the answer, strength, and anything else I need is there waiting for me. I simple have to look to the right source.

Keys to Contentment

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

I'm fortunate enough to be part of a Sunday School class that aims to get closer to God and walk deeper with Him. We are currently going through Living on the Edge, which is a study/book based on Romans 12. In going through, this verse stuck out to me.

Our circumstances are always changing, whether it's of our own doing or because of things out of our control. New children arrive and join our family. Children grow up and change. Jobs come and go.Family members move or live in disfunction or die. Responsibilities for housework, service at church, and school obligations ebb and flow. The only thing that stays the same (other than God's unfailing love) is that things are always changing.

We often question, "So, how do I deal with this situation?" ~ How do we cope with a husband who doesn't do everything we want him to? ~ How do we keep up with the messes made by several small children? ~ How do we cope with the lost job that was needed? ~ How do we deal with the disappointments of people who aren't faithful to their word? ~ What do we do when we're hurt or discouraged?

We remain JOYFUL in HOPE. We are PATIENT in AFFLICTION. And, we are FAITHFUL in PRAYER.

No matter what, we can be joyful in hope. True? You think not? That depends where you hope lies. If it lies in the Lord, you can always cling to it and be joyful. God promises to never leave us of forsake us and that He always has our best interest at heart. If these things are true, we have no reason to ever lose hope. Even when what we see is hard. If we turn our eyes from what we see, to God, we can soak in the joy that comes from hope in His omniscient control and unfailing love.

Affliction will come. There will be difficult times. Trials happen. Discomfort, pain, and things we dislike are a part of life. God never promises othewise. Time and time again, He tells us what to do during those times, which lets us know they will come. This scripture tells us to be patient. In James, we are told to count it joy when we go through trials. How do we do that? By knowing that it will end. By knowing that we can get through it with God's help. And by knowing that if we cling to Him and stay focused on His purposes, He will work them out for our good. Then, we can hang on until the trial, affliction, discouragement, heartache, passes or diminishes.

Lastly, we are to stay faithful in prayer. We are to pray about everything. We are to praise God in everything. We are to be still and listen to Him. That's how we get through and know what step to take next - even if that step is the same one we've been taken for eons. Sometimes, God calls you to make your next step to stay right where you are. Sometimes, He calls you to move to the next thing. To be assured and gain divine support on that next step, it must be taken in prayer - not for what we want, but for guidance to do what He wants. That's how we hand over our family members we are worried about or disappointed in. That's how we stay connected to God and His love, and overflow that love to others in our lives.

So, no matter what you're facing at this time, be JOYFUL in HOPE, PATIENT in AFFLICTION, and FAITHFUL in PRAYER.

Get Encouraged

Since God has so generously let us in on what he is doing, we're not about to throw up our hands and walk off the job just because we run into occasional hard times. (MSG) 2 Corinthians 4:1

I absolutely love this version of this verse! How many times as a mom have I wanted to throw my hands up and walk off the job? I can't count them. Occasionally, I declare a Mommy-vacation where everything is let go for a day or a week, then I return to normal.

It's not because I don't love my children. No, loving them is the easy part. Snuggling with them. Talking with them. Playing with them. Those are the fun things. But, they are not the things that make up the bulk of motherhood (as if I had to tell you that!) It's all the work that comes with motherhood that is repititious, redundant, and unappreciated that makes me want to throw my hands up and quit.

There are hard times in motherhood. For some reason, I was totally unprepared for these hard times. I was also unprepared for the constancy of hard work and lack of control of my own time. These three things sometimes rush in all at once, crashing over my head and overwhelming me. Like being caught under a wave in the ocean, with another on the way and undertoe trying to pull me down, I struggle to catch my breath, much less make headway.

I am more than grateful for verses like this one found in 2 Corinthians that can speak to me and act like a hand pulling me above the wave, helping me to get my footing, and hang on until the deluge is over. God is there waiting, He never moves, and all I have to do is continue to reach up and rely on Him to provide everything I need. He has given me this task of raising these four invaluable gifts and He will equip me to do so. And for that, "thank you" doesn't seem adequate.

Moms Working Together for God

to be sensible, chaste, domestic, kind, and submissive to their husbands, that the word of God may not be discredited. Titus 2:5 (RSV)

This verse continues from the previous one about the things that older women are supposed to teach the younger women. By proxy, this means that the older women are expected to exhibit these characteristics, too.

I am sure that many reading this verse cringe at the phrase "submissive to their husbands." This is, in part, due to the lies we've been fed and eaten ravenously about what submission means. The other part of this is our flesh desiring to be selfish and independent of anyone else. However, we are commanded time and time again to be submissive to our husbands (Eph. 5:22, 24; Col. 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1, 5.) We are not the only ones told to submit, though. Slaves are told to submit to their masters, masters are told to submit to God, children are told to submit to their parents, and all belivers are told to submit to each other out of reverence to Christ. So, women are not the only ones told to submit.

Secondly, submission does not mean being a doormat. Submission means exhibiting the characteristics described in the beginning of the verse: sensible, chase, domestic, kind. It doesn't mean take a beating, put up with emotional abuse or blackmail, or think of yourself as less worthy in God's eyes. It means to maintain a relationship with your husband by being self-controlled, pure, busy at home, and kind (NIV.)

Trust me, these characteristics are harder to learn for some people, especially naturally dependent, strong-willed personalities like mine. But, as God has convicted me about my attitude and lack of submission to His will and encouraged me to be a kinder, gentler wife, I've been the one to benefit. And, as the last portion of this verse says (as well a the other verses that talk about being submissive), it is all to make sure that God is glorified - that I don't do anything to bring discredit to His name. It is true of how I treat my husband, how I treat my children, how I treat my extended family, and how I treat my friends. That is why I need God to help teach me these lessons on a constant basis.

Moms Working Together

and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, Titus 2:4

Have you ever thought about having to learn to love your husband and children? Or that we as women have a responsibility to each other? According to this one verse, we do.

Titus 2 focuses on conduct as Christians and mirrors many other verses in many other books of the Bible. Romans 12:16 tells us to live in harmony with one another, Romans 15:7 tells us to accept one another, 1 Corinthians 1:10 tells us to agree with one another, 2 Corinthians 13:11 tells us to encourage one another. When we train each other to love our families, we do each of these.

So what does that mean, practically speaking? First, it means talking positively about your husband and children. This doesn't mean that you can never be honest or get support for things you're struggling with, but it means loving them with words even when they're not around.

It also means being willing to spend time with other moms. Life can get crazy quickly and is very busy, but spending time with other moms (older ones to learn from, ones in the same life stage to share with, and younger ones to pass on lessons to) is essential to healthy, balanced living. It may mean joining a ladies Bible Study, play groups, MOPS group, etc. It may mean inviting another mom over for lunch, going out for coffee after the kids going to bed. However it happens, time spent is relationship built.

Teaching also involves listening. Often, we learn by talking things out and just having someone to bounce things off of. Being that sounding board, the one who calls and never gives up, the friend who cares, teaches love - to our girlfriends, and to us.

New Beginnings

The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. Lamentations 3:22-23

It seems appropriate to talk about new beginnings at the start of a new year, however, God has reminded me that we have an opportunity to make a new beginning each day. And boy, am I glad!

I don't know about others, but it seems that I struggle with doing the right things, exhibiting the fruits of the Spirit of God, on a daily basis. No matter how much prayer I put into it, how much time I spend in Bible reading/study, no matter how much praise music I listen to, I constantly fall short. Now, on the days I do have my quiet prayer/Bible study time and turn up some inspirational music, I notice improvement. But I don't experience perfection.

I'm reminded through scripture that I'm not the only one, though. Romans 3:23 tells us that ALL fall short. I'm glad that I'm not alone. But I'm more grateful that God has redeemed me from being a slave to the sin that reaches out to ensnare me and delivers me through His Son. Through Him, I am more than a conquerer. Which means that I don't give up. I continue to keep my eyes fixed on Him and rely on Him to help me discipline my flesh and practice making holy choices instead of fleshly ones.

And He gives me that option every day! I've made some new beginnings and gotten back to some disciplines I've let slip, with the new year motivating me. But there are still others I need to work on. As I start the process (again), I will continue to remind myself that I can't, but He CAN!

Treasured Moments

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:19

In the hustle-bustle, always-something-to-do environment of being a mom there are scant moments to sit and treasure. I can barely imagine the wonder, excitement, and astonishment that Mary felt as she held the newborn Jesus. The child who had been conceived in her womb by the Holy Spirit. The promised Savior.

Shephards came. Angels sang. Animals (most likely) brayed and whinnied close by.

Mary treasured and pondered.

It makes me ask the question of myself - how often do I treasure moments with my children? How often do I ponder them and lock them away in my heart?

Not as often as I'd like, but more than none. Just the other day I played, kissed, and tickled my 1-year-old as we walked downstairs for a snack. I laid down and read next to my 7-year-old reading also. I stole sugars from my 3-year-old and I held my 5-year-old for an extra long hug. These are the moments I treasure.

Even though I've been steeped in diapers and runny noses for almost 8 years, I know this time will slip away in the blink of an eye. Especially if I allow myself to be too distracted by other things. I'm grateful, most gratefully during the holiday season, to be reminded to stop, treasure, and ponder.

More on the Wise Men

And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route. Matthew 2:12

Does God every change your planned course? He's done it to me more times than I can count. When I was nineteen, He pulled the rug out from under my plans on who I intended to marry and the college I planned to go to attend until graduation. He moved me across the country, within a year also changed what degree I aimed for, and introduced me to a wonderful man about a week after I swore off dating(who, by the way, is now my husband of almost 9 years.)

He had me wait way longer to get married than I desired, called me to stay at home full time after having my second child (after having earned a Master's Degree and starting my career, which I never planned to leave,) and gave me a whole new career path just before I turned thirty.

Those are only a sampling of the big things in which God's changed my planned course. There have been many small things along the way, also.

The wise men listened to God about changing their planned course. Having found and honored the Christ child, they packed up to head home. However, God had made it clear to them in a dream that Herod wasn't the trustworthy, honoring God type of guy and they needed to avoid him like the plague. It's like the wasp's nest that makes me go around the fort outside, instead of underneath it.

We don't know exactly how long the Wise Men's journey was, but most think it took them quite a while. Surely they had come the most direct route and, to avoid Herod, had to take a much longer route home. Sometimes, that's how God has me do things, too.

I'd much rather accomplish things the quick and easy way, but He knows me best and has greater rewards in store for me when I take His route. I learn more along the way. I appreciate the hard work and challenges that others face. And, I'm sure, a time or two, I've avoided a situation that could have been detrimental to me or someone else.

I don't always like to change course. I used to dig my heels in and resist change with all my might. God has taught me (you tell me whether I'm a fast or slow learner from the many examples above) that if I'm leaving Him in the driver's seat, the destination will be well worth the trip getting there. Now, I only get my feathers ruffled temporarily before moving on. I hope one day, I can fully submit, and be completely willing to travel whatever route God calls me to. Even if it's different than the one I had planned.

What the Wise Men can tell us

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from teh east came to Jerusalem and asked, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him." Matthew 2:1-2

Do you ever think about the wise men (Magi) in the story of Jesus' birth? As adults we learn that, first, we don't know that there were three of them. All we know is that there was more than one and that however many of them there were, they brought three gifts. Then we learn that they did not come to Jesus in the manger, but he had most likely grown to a toddler before they arrived.

Given all the "ideas" about the Wise Men and what we actually know, what is important about their part of the story?

First, they recognized that he was born the King of the Jews. Second, they came to worship Him. These are two distinct actions. There are many people who recognize Jesus as God's Son, the King of the Jews, but they do not worship Him. The Wise Men came to bring Him gifts. To honor Him. These gifts are the basis for why we give gifts today for Christmas. But do we bring Him worship also?

I know I struggle to remember to set aside special time to worship Christ during the holidays. There are more family functions, cards to write, and presents to buy, wrap and make. It's business on top of every day Mommy business, and it's easy to get lost. But, if I'm still, I hear God calling me to bring the most important gifts to His Son. The gift of my love, obedience, and service. Even during this busy time.

Then, I will capture the true purpose of Christmas in a wise way.

Preparing for Christmas

Because of God's tender mercy, the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us, to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, and to guide us to the path of peace. Luke 1:78-79

This is how Zechariah, John the Baptist's father, prepared for the birth of Jesus the Messiah. He, in his old age, and long convinced that he would die childless, celebrates the birth of his own son by looking towards the Christ child.

How am I preparing for Christmas? Am I preparing to celebrate the birth of the Christ child? I'm working diligently on Christmas cards, preparing for a family Christmas party, checking my list to make sure I haven't forgotten anyone, and have decorated. How much time am I focusing on the miracle God performed when He brought His eternal Son into this world through the humble birth of a baby? Not much.

But, thankfully, He gave me this reminder, along with many celebrations at church to remind me.

Jesus came because of God's tender mercy. That makes me want to lean back in His arms, look up lovingly and say, "thank You" over and over again. I am truly the worst of sinners and nowhere close to deserve His mercy, yet He gives it freely. When God said "I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy," He didn't mean He'd withhold it from those who deserved it. No. He meant He'd offer it to those who don't deserve it. He'd even offer it to those we don't think deserve it. His mercy truly is tender.

If I'm sitting in darkness and chaos, He tells me that He offers peace. That includes during the Christmas season, which is an even more difficult time for those who've recently lost loved ones, don't have a positive support network, or struggle with discouragement, depression, and distraction. The answer to all of these is to sit at the feet of Jesus, who's birth we are to remember and celebrate during this time, and allow Him to supply for all our needs. He knows our needs, and we simply have to let Him fulfill them. In the form of a baby - born humbly, completely man and completely God. And He will guide us to the path of peace.

Creating a Worry-Free Home

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. Proverbs 31:11

Before you cringe at the fact that I've gone to the awe-inspiring Proverbs 31 woman, know that I have studied, struggled with, submitted to the meaning behind these verses. While this woman looks perfect, she is not. How do I know? Because she is human. I also know that this section of verses is not a snapshot glance at her life, it is a look into her overall life, evidenced by verse 28. Most likely, if her children arise and called her blessed, they are grown.

Okay, so now we can look at todays verse. This woman's husband has full confidence in her. Where do you suppose that confidence comes from? To me, it comes from his experience that she takes care of her duties and household with integrity. She does what she says she's going to do and backs her words up with actions. She looks after the household in such a way that her husband doesn't have to worry that things are falling apart while he's at home.

We, also have this opportunity today. Whether we work outside the home or only in it, we can manage our homes in a way that instills our husbands with confidence. This can be done by:

* greeting him with kind words and enthusiasm
* taking care of chores with a positive attitude
* doing something extra that he'll notice once in a while
* do what you say you'll do
* keep your focus on God and fulfilling the work He's called you to do.

In no way would I ever imply that the above is easy. It's something I work on daily. When I want to get lazy (not relax, relaxation and down time are important to maintain balance), I ask myself, am I living with integrity? Have I given God my best today? If not, I pray for His strength to help me persevere through one more task - and I sometimes remember to turn my praise music on while I'm doing so.

Sing a New Song, Old Song, Any Song

Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Psalm 105:2a

I love praise music! It can turn my mood around and get me moving around the house like nothing else. Last year, after being resistant to move from my radio and CD player, I received and ipod for my birthday. I never could have imagined how much I would rely on it. But, I’ve put dozens of praise and worship songs on it, it has become a lifeline. Even washing dishes and dusting can become joyful activities when you’re praising the Lord.

As an added bonus to getting to praise God and shift my not-always-great attitude, my children are learning to praise God as a normal part of life.

The wealth of music available today to praise God is truly unlimited. And access is also. I can listen to Klove online, buy CD’s and download songs from the computer. As I go through my daily chores and do the same thing day after day, being able to connect to God through music helps me keep my focus on Him and remember that everything I do (including changing diapers, scrubbing toilets, and taking out the trash) are part of the job God’s called me to do. And since He’s called me to be a wife, mother, and homemaker, I’m to do it as if I were doing it for Him, and not for anyone else.

So, regardless of what’s going on – what losses you face, what disappointments you’ve experienced, what discouragement you feel, what distractions life throws your way – make time to sing God’s praises and open yourself to what work He wants to do in you through it.

Out of My Mouth

Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. Psalm 105:1

Do your children hear you talk about God? Is He such a part of your daily life that they hear you tell others the things He’s doing in your life? Do you direct them to turn to God with they challenges and praises?

This past month, I took the Thanksgiving Challenge on FaceBook and posted something I was thankful for each day. It was a wonderful exercise! I didn’t have a hard time coming up with things to be grateful for – not because I’m such a wonderful, thankful person, but because when we open ourselves up to recognizing God’s blessings, He shows us the bounty He has given us. And as I focused on His gifts, I was able to more clearly see other things He’s given me. The new social networks available only allowed me to proclaim His greatness to the whole world.

But I need to remember to do this every day, and not just online. But to my children and to those I come across in my circle. I don’t want to only quietly praise God and give Him thanks personally, I want to be the person who proclaims the Lord’s greatness.

As moms, we may not think we have many opportunities to let the whole world know what He’s done, but our children are the most important to tell. Then, we can guide them in seeking God and recognizing the work He does in their lives. Then they will learn the most important lesson of all – to love Him with all their minds, hearts, spirits and strength, because He is always there no matter what.

A Disciplined Body

I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified. 1 Corinthians 9:27

Have you ever though about the fact that self-discipline doesn’t happen on its own? That to do the right thing consistently isn’t natural in the flesh? God knows this about us, and has given us the answer to submit to His will. Part of that answer is to discipline our bodies.

Discipline and training take practice. I means making the right choice over and over and over again. It means doing what needs to be done instead of what we feel like doing. It means not giving up when we mess up. And it means continuing to do it and being willing to step up to an even higher level of discipline once we’ve completed another. That’s what athletes do – they train consistently and are always moving to another lever.

Sound daunting? To me it does. To know that I have hard work ahead of me, and when I complete that, I’ll be faced with even harder work. As busy moms, that can make us tired just thinking about it. But, it’s what we’re called to do. But why? The second part of the verse answers that question. We don’t want to be disqualified. As moms, that means we don’t want to be disqualified from receiving respect, love, and the obedience of our children.

While it’s difficult to do what we know we should do (laundry, cleaning, quiet time with the Lord, straightening up – again) instead of what we want to do (read a book, check email, sit with a quiet cup of coffee and a chick flick), the rewards for doing the right things are endless. When our actions match up with our priorities, peace and joy will follow. One of those benefits is having our children see us as genuine. If they know that we mean what we say and say what we mean, they will love us, have respect for us, and be more likely to obey us.

But, most of all, they will give credibility to what we teach them about God – then we will not be disqualified after preaching the gospel to them.

Receiving Nothing From God

That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. James 1:7-8

The first verse is scary to me. When I recognize everything God has given me, I abhor the idea of Him removing His favor and gifts. I'm not talking material things, although He also provides those, but the times He's moved in my life and brought me to places I couldn't have imagined. The peace, the joy of His presence, small (in my sight,they're all small to the creator of the world) miracles. If I got to a place where I didn't expect to receive anything from God, I'd be hopeless indeed.

This verse comes on the heals of "when you ask, believe and do not doubt." It's doubt that often keeps us from receiving the things God has in store for us. The already gift-wrapped packages we refuse when we don't believe Him.

Recently, I experienced a moment of doubt. Not in God, but in what He was going to do. I said I trusted Him, I encouraged others to trust Him, but I still tried to work out a few details on my own. Fortunately, God showed me very quickly that He is in charge and would take care of things His way. He might even have a better plan than mine. I stepped out of the way. I'd rather have what He has in store.

My desire is to be the opposite of double-minded and unstable. I want to believe God and walk on the firm footing of the path He's prepared for me. Sometimes I stumble, but I refocus my eyes on Him and pray for Him to help my unbelief, and He gently nudges me back on His path.

Faith

But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
James 1:6

When we ask God for something, do we really believe? Or do I doubt?

Want the blatant truth? If you are worried about your children, you are not believing God. If you worry about your spouse, you are not believing God. If you worry about your finances, you are not believing God. And if you worry, you will be blown and tossed like a wave in the wind. Not too comfortable, huh?

"But, I'm in charge of my kids! My husband is out in the world everyday where anything could happen! The numbers don't add up! It's my job to worry. It's my nature to worry. I can't help it."

I've heard these statements numerous times, but they are lies. We do not have to worry. As a matter of fact, worrying (and unfounded fear, which is generally the root of worry) is a sin. Why? Because it's unbelief. Worry means we don't trust God to work things out for the best. It means that if He allows something bad to happen, we don't believe He know better than we do.

I know we're not supposed to worry, because God's word tells us not to. He also tells us that "everything that does not come from faith is sin." {Romans 14:23}

So, how do we have faith about everything? How do we continually believe God to do best when there's so much out of our control.

First, we study, meditate on, and believe God's Word. Fill your mind with His promises. Replace your worry thoughts with scripture.

Second, we ask God for wisdom. James 1:5 says that God will give us wisdom, if we ask. We parent according to His guidelines and seek Him for what we dont' know. He may answer directly, or give us resources to help, but He will always answer.

Third, we make sure we're doing our job. I'm not going to worry about my children if they're in my fenced in back yard, but I'm not sending them to cruise around the neighborhood by themselves at their young ages. I'm not going to worry about their safety when they're at a friend's house whose parents I know well, but I'm not going to send them to a house sight unseen and parents unheard from. I'm going to place appropriate boundaries around them, and believe God to protect them from outside harm.

Fourth and Finally, we believe God. He is always faithful and promises never to leave us. If we seek Him, listen to Him, and obey Him He will hold us tightly in His hands. That doesn't mean that everything will be perfect or nothing bad will happen, but that He will be with us and carry us through anything that comes our way.