Of Socks and Shoes (and toothbrushes and soap)

We live in a time and place where we have unlimited resources to help us prepare for parenthood. When I was expecting and then a new mom, I read and read and read. There were books and magazines, and a handful of blogs. Now there are an amazing number of blogs, Facebook groups, Instagrammers, Pinners, etc. Any question you might wonder about parenting, you'll most likely find in abundance.

Regardless of how much we talk to other moms, read about being a parent, or research all the right decisions, the truth is nothing can prepare someone for motherhood completely. There are just things you could never expect (or, even if someone told you, you might brush off or not realize how that piece of advice might be experienced in real time). 

One of those things for me is how often I have to repeat myself. Now, I'm sure part of this is my own fault. I am somewhat strict as a parent, but certainly not exceptionally strict. I believe in grace and apply it liberally. Not that my children don't have responsibilities or face consequences when they break rules, but I try to be flexible when a situation deems it. (Okay, quite often I'm also just plain distractible.) I also don't tend to dole out punishments for small things.

But really...

How many times do I have to say "put your shoes on" when I've given them a 20 minute countdown 'til time for us to leave?

How many times do I have to ask, "Did you wash with soap while you were in the bathtub for 2 hours?"

How many times do I need to remind my children to brush their teeth after breakfast AND before bed?

Honestly, after a decade (give or take) of hearing these things, you'd think they'd get it.

But that's my job. 

To hold them accountable to good habits and responsibilities.

To remind them to do things they get distracted from (especially since I understand this one in spades!).

To keep teaching them, guiding them, and leading them to become responsible, people-loving, God-honoring adults.

And I know they will get it!

My 15-year-old is a big encouragement. Not that we don't deal with typical teen issues, but she seems to have integrated all the everyday lessons I've been trying to impart her whole life. Her younger siblings have them in part. Of course, the youngest needs the most guidance. So I cling to the success I see and keep on (deep breath) patiently reminding and checking in to make sure things are done that are supposed to be done.

And isn't that the way the Lord is with us? There are so many lessons I've learned and relearned (and relearned) in my life as a believer. How quickly I forget His truths and start to depend on myself and my limited knowledge and strength. Over and over and over again.

Yet, the Lord is ever-patient. He continues to guide and teach and correct and lead me. I'm so thankful He does! Aren't you?

So the next time your telling your child put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher, brush their hair, or actually put their clothes away when they take them off, remember how long-suffering and gentle the Lord is with you. Filling up with His grace will help you (and me) extend grace to our children and gently keep them on track.

So, what are the things do you get to teach your children over and over?

And what is something you've ever grateful the Lord teaches and reminds you over and over?

God and Depression

Having a relationship with God brings joy, right? While this statement is supported throughout the Bible, the truth is we live in a broken, fallen world. You may have experienced loss, abuse, trauma, or other difficulties and challenges. Depression often hits us as a result of tough circumstances. At other times, though, depression can strike when everything seems to be going well. Fortunately, the Bible also addresses these situations.

A quick perusal through the Psalms gives us many examples of when David and others were in angst, to the point of death and despair. Paul also expresses his great struggles and times of desperation for God to deliver him from either his circumstances or thoughts and emotions. God is not silent on depression, but provides tools to help us to go through and get through. When you're feeling depressed, down, or discouraged, there are helpful things to remember and that you can do.

Things to remember:

      (1)   God is not mad at or disappointed in you. God understands the depths of our hearts and sent Jesus to experience the trials of living in flesh. When we are depressed, He meets us with compassion and encouragement.

      (2)   God has not left you. Over and over again, God tells us in scripture that He is with us and won't leave us. While He may often feel far, the truth is He is always with us, no matter what our circumstances, struggles, thoughts, or feelings.

      (3)   This moment and feeling will not last forever. While some battles with depression are deep and long, they do not last forever. Reminding yourself of this fosters hope and is helpful in getting through the most difficult moments.

Things you can do:

      (1)   Talk to someone. God created us to be relational. Romans 12:15 says to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Our burdens are lessened when we share them with others. We can gain a different perspective, insight, and the encouragement needed to walk through even the toughest valleys in life.

      (2)   Be intentional about gratitude. When depression takes over, our thoughts gravitate toward and get stuck on the negative. We have a hard time seeing the blessings in life. Even starting with the basics of thanking God for who He is and what He's done in the past (see Psalm 138 for example) will begin to transform your thinking and make it easier to identify other blessings.

      (3)   Pour in truth. Exhaustion is often a close companion to depression and it may feel impossible to even muster up enough strength to open and read the Bible. Thankfully, we live in a time where the Bible and biblical teaching are abundantly available. Turn a Bible app on read, search online for your favorite Bible teachers or preachers, or find some godly teaching on podcasts. God's word is alive and active (Hebrews 4:12) and will began to transform you.

These few reminders and suggestions are helpful when going through depression and other difficult times. If the list seems overwhelming, simply pick one to start with. And if you would like to share your story or struggles or talk to someone, feel free to comment below or email me through this link.

I pray you’ll experience God’s love and compassion for you in a fresh way as you seek Him in the midst of your struggles.