Of Socks and Shoes (and toothbrushes and soap)

We live in a time and place where we have unlimited resources to help us prepare for parenthood. When I was expecting and then a new mom, I read and read and read. There were books and magazines, and a handful of blogs. Now there are an amazing number of blogs, Facebook groups, Instagrammers, Pinners, etc. Any question you might wonder about parenting, you'll most likely find in abundance.

Regardless of how much we talk to other moms, read about being a parent, or research all the right decisions, the truth is nothing can prepare someone for motherhood completely. There are just things you could never expect (or, even if someone told you, you might brush off or not realize how that piece of advice might be experienced in real time). 

One of those things for me is how often I have to repeat myself. Now, I'm sure part of this is my own fault. I am somewhat strict as a parent, but certainly not exceptionally strict. I believe in grace and apply it liberally. Not that my children don't have responsibilities or face consequences when they break rules, but I try to be flexible when a situation deems it. (Okay, quite often I'm also just plain distractible.) I also don't tend to dole out punishments for small things.

But really...

How many times do I have to say "put your shoes on" when I've given them a 20 minute countdown 'til time for us to leave?

How many times do I have to ask, "Did you wash with soap while you were in the bathtub for 2 hours?"

How many times do I need to remind my children to brush their teeth after breakfast AND before bed?

Honestly, after a decade (give or take) of hearing these things, you'd think they'd get it.

But that's my job. 

To hold them accountable to good habits and responsibilities.

To remind them to do things they get distracted from (especially since I understand this one in spades!).

To keep teaching them, guiding them, and leading them to become responsible, people-loving, God-honoring adults.

And I know they will get it!

My 15-year-old is a big encouragement. Not that we don't deal with typical teen issues, but she seems to have integrated all the everyday lessons I've been trying to impart her whole life. Her younger siblings have them in part. Of course, the youngest needs the most guidance. So I cling to the success I see and keep on (deep breath) patiently reminding and checking in to make sure things are done that are supposed to be done.

And isn't that the way the Lord is with us? There are so many lessons I've learned and relearned (and relearned) in my life as a believer. How quickly I forget His truths and start to depend on myself and my limited knowledge and strength. Over and over and over again.

Yet, the Lord is ever-patient. He continues to guide and teach and correct and lead me. I'm so thankful He does! Aren't you?

So the next time your telling your child put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher, brush their hair, or actually put their clothes away when they take them off, remember how long-suffering and gentle the Lord is with you. Filling up with His grace will help you (and me) extend grace to our children and gently keep them on track.

So, what are the things do you get to teach your children over and over?

And what is something you've ever grateful the Lord teaches and reminds you over and over?

Revelation Prayer Devotion Day 11

Day 11

Scripture focus: And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write: “The words of the holy one, the true one, who has the key of David, who opens and no one will shut, who shuts and no one opens. I know your works. Behold, I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut. I know that you have but little power, and yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. Behold, I will make those of the synagogue of Stan who say that they are Jews and are not, but lie – behold, I will make them come and bow down before your feet, and they will learn that I have loved you. Because you have kept my word about patient endurance, I will keep you from the hour of trial that is coming on the whole world, to try those who dwell on the earth. I am coming soon. Hold fast what you have, so that no one may seize your crown. The one who conquers, I will make him a pillar in the temple of my God. Never shall he go out of it, and I will write on him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which comes down from my God out of heaven, and my own new name. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”

Revelation 3:7-13

Application: What Jesus says and does is final. There isn’t a power on earth or in heaven that can undo what He does. This is how the letter to Philadelphia begins, with Jesus reminding the readers of His holiness, truth, and power. This is the second letter with no condemnation in it, but only encouragement. Like the letter to the church in Smyrna, Jesus’ followers are facing trials. Yet Jesus knows. And in comparison to the little power the church has on its own, the Lord declares His undefeatable power.

Another theme we see popping up again in this letter is the emphasis on patient endurance. Something many of us would rather not discuss. Much less consider praying for. Instead, many joke about not praying for patience because God will bring circumstances that provide the opportunity to learn it. None of us want to wait and develop patience. We live in an instant gratification culture. We aren’t used to waiting for much of anything. In the world of drive-thru food, instant microwave cooking, and free two day shipping, we don’t have too many occasions to cultivate an attitude of patient endurance. Yet, when we examine scripture, we find that patience is a fruit of the Spirit, a characteristic of love, and a sign of spiritual maturity.

Patient endurance is not only a virtue, it’s a sign of trusting God. Trusting that He is still in control. Trusting that He is good. Trusting that He is love. Trusting that He has a perfect will in each of our lives. Trusting His Word. Trusting His ultimate power. We may face challenges and difficulties, experience disappointments and hurts, but God will keep us under the shadow of His wing. He has opened the door to salvation and eternal life through His own blood, and no one can keep us out.

It is so hard to imagine what heaven will be like. There are many descriptions of heaven, but I don’t think there’s anything that comes close to actually describing what it will be like. However, the glimpses we’re given through scripture are enough to keep us focused on eternal things. We will be honored and repaid for hardships due to following Jesus. We will receive a crown. We will be a pillar in God’s new temple. We will have God’s name written on our being. We will be in the glorious presence of the one and only true and holy Lord forever.

So no matter what you’re facing today – whether financial hardships, difficulties on the job, family stress, illness, hard relationships, failures, lostness of loved ones, chronic pain, death, or other major losses, let Jesus’ words be a reminder that He’s always with us, He knows, and He still has the power to bring about our good and His glory. We are but a mist and our troubles, not matter how painful at the time, are light and momentary compared to the glories of heaven. Let us rejoice in who He is and what is to come!

Prayer: Almighty God, You alone are worthy of praise. You alone sit on the throne of creation and no one can defeat You. You alone hold the key to heaven and You alone open and shut doors in my life. Thank You for Your great love. For Your great promises and salvation. I hide under the shadow of Your wing in the midst of troubles of this life. Help me to keep my focus on You. To be compassionate and sincere, but not faltering in my faith. While it feels like I have so little power on this earth, I know that Your power is within me to endure as I follow You and proclaim Your name in all the earth. Show me how You desire me to bring glory to you today, where I am, as I am.

Reflection questions/prayer prompts:

Lord, turn my eyes to gaze upon Your holiness and truth.

In what ways have I not kept God’s Word or denied His name?

Jesus, Reveal to me those around me who don’t know You and prompt me to pray for their salvation.

How can I cultivate patient endurance?

How can I not only hold fast to what I have in my relationship with Jesus, but grow in it?

What area of sin, complacency, or comfort do I need to conquer by the power of Jesus’ blood?

Holy Father, thank you for loving me as I am and too much to leave me where I am.

The Lord is Always Working

Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded.
For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told.
Habakkuk 1:5

I have been living in a holding pattern for almost two yeasr now. The details are unimportant, because they change from month to month, year to year, and person to person. What doesn't change is God.

The Lord continues to use the situation I'm in to lean into my faith in Him, His goodness, and His plans.

One morning when I woke up, I heard the Lord direct me to the book of Habakkuk. As I lay in bed starting to wake up I listened to the words of this prophet and the Lord's response. And He spoke to me.

My situation is not one of violence, iniquity, and destruction, but it is one of things not getting done as they should (or as I'd like them). The similarity is others are not doing what they should and I'm being affected.

As Habakkuk did, I have cried out to the Lord. I have begged, pleaded, and quite frankly, whined. 

In His great graciousness He has not chastised me. Neither, however, has He given me what I want when I want it. What He has done is say almost the same thing He said to Habakkuk:

"Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded.

For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told."

It is a reminder that the Lord is always working. Even when things don't go our way. Even when they don't seem just or fair. Even when we can't see Him working. He is. Always.

And I am so grateful. Because He knows so much more than me. And is so much more good and righteous than me.


I may get frustrated and impatient at times, but then I will choose to trust in the Lord and His plan. That is true surrendered living.

The Key to Patience

Over the last several months I have prayed continually for God to show me how to love better and more effectively. What I thought I was asking for was for God to show me ways to love others - what gifts to give them, when to send a word of encouragement, etc. What He has been teaching me instead is that when I have an appropriate view of my self, as a sinner and as being completely forgiven, I will change the way I percieve and respond to others, becoming more loving in my thoughts and actions.

In 1 Timothy, Paul, the greatest New Testament missionary and evangelist, calls himself the chief of sinners. I never understood that, until I began to grow closer to God. It's like having a flashlight in a dark room. In a room with no other light, the flashlight looks bright and illuminates some things. But if you take that flashlight outside on a sunny day, the only light you see from it is by looking at the bulb itself. When you begin to see yourself in the light of God's holiness, the light you thought you had on your own fades into almost non-existence.

So what does this have to do with patient parenting? As I began to see myself as a "chief of sinners," I became more and more grateful for the grace and forgiveness God has poured out on me. And I began to see my children as fellow sinners. They weren't doing anything to intentionally antagonize me or hurt my feelings, they were simply behaving in the way any human does in a fallen world with fleshly desires. Just like me. So, if they're not doing anything I haven't done (all sin is rooted in disobedience, and I've been that plenty), then why should I not deal with them with patience? That doesn't mean that I don't consequence them, after all, God consequences us for our sins, but it changes the manner in which I do so.

Ephesians 4:25-27 says: Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin"[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. What this means for me as a mom is that I am not to discipline my children in anger (no yelling, no mad face, no acting while the fire of being disobeyed is still in my belly), then I sin.

I believe this is one of the most difficult challenges for parents: to remove emotions from the disciplining process. But, it is essential for effective parenting. Especially if we want to raise our children to have faith in the one true God. We are the role model for God as parent. What they see in us, they will relate to God (especially if we claim faith in Him.) Therefore, I must ask myself every day whether I am being a good ambassador for Christ in the way I am parenting. I am not perfect, and I do not always do it the way I know I should. But, thanks be to God! He gives us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:57)

Keys to Contentment

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

I'm fortunate enough to be part of a Sunday School class that aims to get closer to God and walk deeper with Him. We are currently going through Living on the Edge, which is a study/book based on Romans 12. In going through, this verse stuck out to me.

Our circumstances are always changing, whether it's of our own doing or because of things out of our control. New children arrive and join our family. Children grow up and change. Jobs come and go.Family members move or live in disfunction or die. Responsibilities for housework, service at church, and school obligations ebb and flow. The only thing that stays the same (other than God's unfailing love) is that things are always changing.

We often question, "So, how do I deal with this situation?" ~ How do we cope with a husband who doesn't do everything we want him to? ~ How do we keep up with the messes made by several small children? ~ How do we cope with the lost job that was needed? ~ How do we deal with the disappointments of people who aren't faithful to their word? ~ What do we do when we're hurt or discouraged?

We remain JOYFUL in HOPE. We are PATIENT in AFFLICTION. And, we are FAITHFUL in PRAYER.

No matter what, we can be joyful in hope. True? You think not? That depends where you hope lies. If it lies in the Lord, you can always cling to it and be joyful. God promises to never leave us of forsake us and that He always has our best interest at heart. If these things are true, we have no reason to ever lose hope. Even when what we see is hard. If we turn our eyes from what we see, to God, we can soak in the joy that comes from hope in His omniscient control and unfailing love.

Affliction will come. There will be difficult times. Trials happen. Discomfort, pain, and things we dislike are a part of life. God never promises othewise. Time and time again, He tells us what to do during those times, which lets us know they will come. This scripture tells us to be patient. In James, we are told to count it joy when we go through trials. How do we do that? By knowing that it will end. By knowing that we can get through it with God's help. And by knowing that if we cling to Him and stay focused on His purposes, He will work them out for our good. Then, we can hang on until the trial, affliction, discouragement, heartache, passes or diminishes.

Lastly, we are to stay faithful in prayer. We are to pray about everything. We are to praise God in everything. We are to be still and listen to Him. That's how we get through and know what step to take next - even if that step is the same one we've been taken for eons. Sometimes, God calls you to make your next step to stay right where you are. Sometimes, He calls you to move to the next thing. To be assured and gain divine support on that next step, it must be taken in prayer - not for what we want, but for guidance to do what He wants. That's how we hand over our family members we are worried about or disappointed in. That's how we stay connected to God and His love, and overflow that love to others in our lives.

So, no matter what you're facing at this time, be JOYFUL in HOPE, PATIENT in AFFLICTION, and FAITHFUL in PRAYER.

A Women with Solid Walls

Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control. Proverbs 25:28

Do you ever feel like the walls that maintain order in your house are broken down? I think we've all been there. I know for sure that I have. And what I have found is at the root of the problem is not my children. It's me.

Children will be children. They will push boundaries. They will disobey. They will have bad attitudes. Okay. Children will be human. And when they tend to be more human (i.e. more controlled by the flesh than by self-control) I generally find that it is because I have been that way myself. When I have not been submitting to the Holy Spirit and exercising self-control in the way I act, speak and react I see that reflected in my children.

I used to think that I was a very self-controlled person, until I had children. Then I learned that they were capable of pushing buttons that I never knew I had. One of those buttons is defiance. It will drive me crazy quicker than anything else. (Ever felt that red-heat anger in your belly? I hope I'm not the only one.) If I allow that feeling and anger at being disobeyed in how I handle that disobedience, I am myself stepping into disobedience against God.

This is a practice that takes practice. It is a skill that takes submission to the Holy Spirit and a recognition of how sinful I am myself. Because I have learned that consequences of losing it (I never feel good after having acting without self-control) are, I pay very close attention to myself when I'm dealing with my children when they are acting up. I'm no where near perfect, but I continue to work on developing the skill of self-control. (1 Thessalonians 5:6)

And when I do, I see improvements in my children's behavior. They are still human (as am I) and they are still children, but they exhibit more positive behaviors the more I exhibit positive behaviors. I don't have any regret about losing my temper or yelling at anyone. The walls of my city stay intact and are not broken down, opening up the way for more sin to creep in.

Your Labor is Not in Vain

But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:57)

We're starting today with the final words of yesterday. Motherhood is a challenge that lasts day in and day out, week in and week out, year in and year out. It is no different for Christian mothers than it is for secular mothers. We all face challenges. The strategies are the same for dealing with those challenges, but there is a distinct difference. Christian mothers have victory through Jesus! When we parent our children with this knowledge, we will not fail. It is not a guarantee against sin in their lives (after all, look back at what we've done,) but it is a guarantee that if we keep our eyes on Jesus, we will be victorious.

The words that follow this verse are a great place to go next. They are: Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

Stand firm. This is definately something we mothers have to do. Especially if we've been blessed with a strong-willed child (or two.) The first thing we need to do, is make sure that we are standing firm on the right things. We need to let nothing move us from our faith in Jesus and the truths of His Word. And we are always to give ourselves fully to the work of the Lord. That work includes being a mother. It includes changing diapers. It includes wiping runny noses. It includes calmly disciplining a screaming three-year-old. It includes cooking and cleaning and laundry. These tasks are not respected and revered in our society, but I can promise that God reveres them when we give ourselves fully to these tasks to best take care of our family and home.

I feel like I could write for days on this verse alone. It is fully rich. Let nothing move you means, don't let laziness move you (to the sofa), don't let emotions move you (to grumpiness) and don't let selfishness move you (to whatever it is you want despite what your family needs.) That doesn't mean you don't ever take a break (for more see my other blog, where right now I'm talking about the importance of taking care of moms.) It instead means that we do everything we do as unto the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, (Colossians 3:23) When God calls us to be mothers, He calls us to many tasks we will never be thanked for. But each one of those tasks add up to the culmination of raising children. When we do it with all our hearts, when we do it with joy, when we give ourselves fully to it, our labor is not in vain.

The Key to Patience

The first lesson I'll share is not the first parenting lesson God taught me, but one that has become essential to me. That lesson is how to have patience in parenting my children, the key to which is understanding my place as a fellow sinner.

Over the last several months I have prayed continually for God to show me how to love better and more effectively. What I thought I was asking for was for God to show me ways to love others - what gifts to give them, when to send a word of encouragement, etc. What He has been teaching me instead is that when I have an appropriate view of my self, as a sinner and as being completely forgiven, I will change the way I percieve and respond to others, becoming more loving in my thoughts and actions.

In 1 Timothy, Paul, the greatest New Testament missionary and evangelist, calls himself the chief of sinners. I never understood that, until I began to grow closer to God. It's like having a flashlight in a dark room. In a room with no other light, the flashlight looks bright and illuminates some things. But if you take that flashlight outside on a sunny day, the only light you see from it is by looking at the bulb itself. When you begin to see yourself in the light of God's holiness, the light you thought you had on your own fades into almost non-existence.

So what does this have to do with patient parenting? As I began to see myself as a "chief of sinners," I became more and more grateful for the grace and forgiveness God has poured out on me. And I began to see my children as fellow sinners. They weren't doing anything to intentionally antagonize me or hurt my feelings, they were simply behaving in the way any human does in a fallen world with fleshly desires. Just like me. So, if they're not doing anything I haven't done (all sin is rooted in disobedience, and I've been that plenty), then why should I not deal with them with patience? That doesn't mean that I don't consequence them, after all, God consequences us for our sins, but it changes the manner in which I do so.

Ephesians 4:25-27 says: Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin"[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. What this means for me as a mom is that I am not to discipline my children in anger (no yelling, no mad face, no acting while the fire of being disobeyed is still in my belly), then I sin.

I believe this is one of the most difficult challenges for parents: to remove emotions from the disciplining process. But, it is essential for effective parenting. Especially if we want to raise our children to have faith in the one true God. We are the role model for God as parent. What they see in us, they will relate to God (especially if we claim faith in Him.) Therefore, I must ask myself every day whether I am being a good ambassador for Christ in the way I am parenting. I am not perfect, and I do not always do it the way I know I should. But, thanks be to God! He gives us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 15:57)